Bonobo to you again, everybody. Indebted am I to San Deekotce-Vig for this most important of facts. Like me, she comes from a long, long way away. I have read in your most informative Daily Star that she are an lebanon. (In my country we are not having the lebanons.)

She is very wise to point out the murderous nature of donkeys. They are cold, calculated killers, every last one of them. Here are some excerpts from the very fine book about genocidal donkeys that Dennis "Dobbin" Scuttlebutt, the mayor of Karagasanli, gave my great-grandmother to celebrate the birth of the Noticeable Salamanders.


ABOVE 1964 Hieronymous Forkbeard poses for the press in front of the acropolis he has just bought from the Greek state with the proceeds from his neutrino-smuggling operations in the Sargasso Sea.



ABOVE 1973 The embodiment of sheer evil: Hooty and Bip Withers plot carnage on a previously undreamt-of scale.



ABOVE 2002 (Reconstruction) The Hopkinson Manoeuvre (first used in Dubrovnik in the Great Barley War of 1624): Donkey A feigns paralysis in order to block the path of Car X while Donkey B keeps an eye out for the old Bill. Donkeys C and D lie in wait in the indicated positions, armed with daggers, submachine guns and rocket-propelled-grenade launchers, until such time as Car X passes their hiding places. All four donkeys then simultaneously join forces to terminate car occupants with extreme prejudice.